


The Ultimate Solavellan Tale

by MorningMimosas



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: All here in one fic folks!, Crack, I regret everything, Multi, The most overused Solavellan cliches, What am I doing with my life?, should not be taken seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 05:16:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4167348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorningMimosas/pseuds/MorningMimosas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ghilani’Felas’Din translated into Elvish is "Mary Sue". </p><p>Let that be your only warning and read at your own risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ultimate Solavellan Tale

**Author's Note:**

> The list of overused cliches in Solavellan fiction that I used for this work can be found in the end notes. 
> 
> Also, this is tasteless and I don’t care. It was fun to write. Also, it is not edited in the least but I hope it gives at least someone some mild amusement.

It had been three months since Solas had mysteriously left Ghilani’Felas’Din after the battle with Corypheus. The young and beautiful woman put on a brave face for all of her friends, so that they would not worry but every single night she cried herself to sleep. Like as in every. Single. Fucking. Night. For months and months- maybe years, I don’t know because we haven’t gotten there yet. Her plush Orlesian pillows were waterlogged with her overly dramatic 19-year-old elf tears. Mmm salty. 

Anyway, even though Ghilani’Felas’Din’ tried to hide her unhappiness, all of her super dedicated worshi- I mean – friends- could see her devastation (pale skin, weight-loss due to not eating, and dark circles under her eyes etc.) and they understood her tragically, beautifully wounded heart. 

They talked about the issue and decided that the best way they could all worship the ground Ghilani’Felas’Din walked o- I mean, be there for their best friend, would be to each take turns staying with her every single night – even though you know, they all have lives and jobs to do the next day but that doesn’t matter because the only thing that matters in this story is Ghilani’Felas’Din. 

ANYWAY - After that, each time Ghilani’Felas’Din woke up screaming Solas’ name in the middle of the night, her gay BFF Dorian was there to kiss her forehead and cuddle her back to sleep. He also made super sassy comments. Sometimes Bull helped him and Ghilani’Felas’Din would fall asleep curled up between them. 

Sometimes it was Varric who would tell her elaborate tales until she fell back asleep, usually while holding her hand. 

If it was Blackwall, he would sit on the edge of her bed and stroke her hair all the while lamenting her unwavering loyalty towards Solas as he had been in love with Ghilani’Felas’Din since he had first laid eyes on the fierce and dazzling elf known as the Herald of Andraste. He hoped that now that Solas was out of the way, that he might have a chance with the charming and exotic 19 year-old. She did like older men after all. 

Josephine, who was also in love with Ghilani’Felas’Din would sing the young girl back to sleep and give her a secret kiss after drying her tears. She dared not hope that the elf would return her affections. Still, Josephine’s heart fluttered at the sight of her peaceful, sleeping visage. 

Sera, who was also in love with Ghilani’Felas’Din would feed her cookies or something? She rubbed her tummy? I don’t know, whatever. 

Abelas, who was also in love with Ghilani’Felas’Din and who had made the long trek to Skyhold, pulled by the overwhelmingly powerful urge to protect and serve the young girl, would whisper to her in Elvish when she grew agitated while traversing the fade at night. “Halani Bellanaris Fen’Vagharl Isala Lath” He would say, and she would smile in her sleep as if she knew a secret. 

Abelas always felt his old-as-fuck-heart swell at the sight of her smile and knew that in his thousands of years of living he had never met anyone like her and never would again. Even Mythal paled in comparison to the girl before him. He had a new goddess to serve now. 

Cullen meanwhile obsessively watched Ghilani’Felas’Din every night from a vent in the ceiling of her room and scribbled notes about her in the tiny little notebook that he kept on him at all times. 

Oftentimes he composed poems while looking at Ghilani’Felas’Din’s beautifully sleeping form. It was a little hobby of his and he blushed whenever he daydreamed about one day showing her his book of Ghilani’Felas’Din poetry. 

Cullen sighed while looking at her. She truly was the most gorgeous creature Cullen had ever laid eyes on. She had long bright red hair with a streak of white in the front. Thick, sooty lashes framed her large, sparkling eyes. Cullen ruminated on her eyes a bit more. She had the most lovely and unique eyes, one green and the other gold. And her body… whenever Cullen thought about her perfect body weird things happened in his pants. Her body was slight like all Elves but unlike the others, she was surprisingly well endowed. 

Cullen loved Ghilani’Felas’Din more than anything in the world, he only wished she could see it. Sometimes when she flirted with him, he felt his hopes rise up but he had to remind himself that she flirted like that with everyone. Besides even if she wasn’t still hung up on Solas, she was a mage and he an ex-templar. She probably wouldn’t want to be with him anyway. Their kinds were supposed to be enemies. Still, the hope in his heart would not die out. 

At that moment, Ghilani’Felas’Din whimpered in her sleep, “Solas…Hahren…emma lath, please!” 

Even in rest, Ghilani’Felas’Din was tormented with visions of her lover, her Hahren. AND! If she wasn’t being bombarded by memories of her lath-y vhenan-y, there was this mysterious black wolf that stalked her in the fade every night. 

Ghilani’Felas’Din did not fear anything though, not even a creeper wolf, so she always tried to be friends with it. Never mind that numerous wolves attacked her every time she traveled to the Hinterlands and that as a Dalish she had been taught to be wary of them. Especially given that one of their pantheon, THE DREAD WOLF - FEN’HAREL, was the Lord of Nightmares and Other Bad Things. 

Even though Fen’Harel was feared, respected and reviled by the Dalish clans across Thedas, Ghilani’Felas’Din was not like the typical Dalish. Oh no, Fen’Harel was always her favorite god of the pantheon. Ever since she could remember, Ghilani’Felas’Din had felt this connection and kinship with the Dread Wolf. To her, he wasn’t some fearsome beast he was just misunderstood….puppy? 

Now, Ghilani’Felas’Din prayed to all of her gods faithfully, but she prayed to Fen’Harel the most. Some of her earliest memories were of hiding huddled, scared, bleeding and cold beneath a Fen’Harel statue. Her parents dead and the shemlen slavers still looking for her. She had been told cautionary tales of shemlen men, she knew what they would do to a little Elven girl. 

The men found her eventually, she remembered screaming, cursing, clawing and biting. She tried to hang on to the statue of Fen’Harel as they tried to pull her towards them. The next thing she knew there was fire and lightning everywhere. The shemlen burned to a crisp. 

Little Ghilani’Felas’Din thanked the Dread Wolf for her gift of magic that day. She put the heads of the men who had killed her parents and tried to attack her before Fen’Harel’s shrine as an offering, because she was just that badass. 

She swore to herself then, that she would never trust a dirty shem. Little did she know that one-day some of her closest friends and comrades would be shems. Still that didn’t stop Ghilani’Felas’Din from derogatorily throwing the “S” word around every time she talked about humans. Even to their faces. She also liked to use as many Elvish words in her conversations as possible because it made her seem more cultured or something. None of her worshiper- friends- cared anyway because Ghilani’Felas’Din was perfect and could do no wrong. Ever. 

Back to present - Ghilani’Felas’Din woke in a sweat and screaming Solas’ name as per usual. This time it was Cole stationed by her side. 

Cole lurked over her, floppy hat covering one of his eyes while the other was opened wide in astonishment, “You have another heart beat inside of you!” he exclaimed. 

Ghilani’Felas’Din pondered what that could mean but she was suddenly overtaken with a wave of nausea. She had been getting sick for the last month or so but hadn’t really had time to think anything of it while pretending to run the largest organization in Thedas but really hiding in Solas’ rotunda and sobbing as the walls. 

She felt Cole’s hand rub her back, “It is growing in you, excited to be alive! It doesn’t mean to make you feel sick”, he told her. 

Suddenly Ghilani’Felas’Din was struck with a horrible realization, “ Isala nuvenin halani melana, wait, Cole are you saying that I am banal nadas sulevin with-child?” 

Her heart pounding wildly, she waited for Cole’s answer. 

Cole leaned in close, electric blue eyes piercing Ghilani’Felas’Din’s own mismatched pair. 

“Chalk.” he breathed before blinking out of the room.

**Author's Note:**

> TBC? 
> 
> Overused Solavellan Fic Tropes (did I use tropes correctly? I can’t think of the word. Also, I’m drunk) List 
> 
> \- Has completely ridiculous Elvish name - CHECK!  
> \- Is overly Dalish - CHECK!  
> \- Screams and cries about Solas – can’t get over him - CHECK!  
> \- Is stalked by Solas in the fade - CHECK!  
> \- Best friends with every single one of the followers – CHECK!  
> \- BFF Dorian there to pick up the pieces after Solas leaves - CHECK!  
> \- Follower of Fen’Harel / Fen’Harel is her favorite god- CHECK!  
> \- Has secret Solas love-child - CHECK!  
> \- Cullen is obsessively in love with her - CHECK!  
> \- Casually racist towards humans (i.e. – use of the word shemlen) - CHECK!  
> \- Terrible, violent and mysterious past - CHECK!  
> \- Calls Solas her “Hahren” - CHECK!  
> \- Has ridiculous physical features that no one else in Thedas has (ex. weird hair colors and eye colors etc.) - CHECK!
> 
> Did I miss any? If so, let me know! Woop woop. Peace out girl scouts!


End file.
